Is Paula Deen the antichrist?

I’ll keep this brief –

I watched the Iron Chef America (ICA) Christmas special last night in absolute horror, as useless fuckwits Tyler Florence & Robert Irvine teamed up against equally (if not more so) useless fuckwits Cat Cora (what restaurant exactly does she run?) and Paula Deen. 

How do you even begin to choose who to root against.  What sort of criteria would be useful?

Not only was Paula Deen dressed inappropriately for a kitchen, within the first five minutes or so of “cooking” it was apparent that she has absolutely no clue. 

The secret ingredient was sugar.  What does she reach for?  The king of cheeses – velveeta.  That’s right, velveeta.  She assembled some sort of fudge balls that she somehow worked velveeta into.  Sadly, during the judging they didn’t reveal what the judges actually thought, we just saw the bemused looks on the judges faces as they were tasting their velveeta fudge balls.  Mmmm Mmmm.

I’m not going to lie – I don’t necessarily mind velveeta or other processed cheeses.  When I’m making chili cheese dip for a cold hungover Sunday in January it’s perfect.  But that’s where it stays.  I’m not sitting around imagining further uses for yellow, plasticky processed shit.

My favorite quote from the evening from Mrs. Deen:  “My favorite ingredient. . .butter.”

Alas, I suppose this is where food entertainment has ended up.  I find it difficult to juxtapose great chefs working in this country (Graham Elliott Bowles, Grant Achatz, Homaro Cantu, Michel Richard) to these useless “talents” paraded like cartoon characters on our TV screens.

That’s all.  I hope everyone is having a great day.


5 thoughts on “Is Paula Deen the antichrist?

  1. I knew it! She aggravated me when she kept saying “EYE-talian” during one of her first shows. I started mumbling “WYTE-trash” for the next week. she’s done for cooking what mullets did for cosmetology.

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